“This wasn’t supposed to happen”, he said.
She held his hand tightly and replied with a smile, “but it did. That’s all that matters”
He looked up and could see that her eyes were red and puffy with crying all night. He wanted to make her happy. He wanted to save her. He wanted to save them. But there was nothing that he could do. He had made up his mind.
She asked him once again, “Are you sure about this?”
He replied without giving it any thought, “Yes. We can’t be together. Not now, not ever”
She wanted to scream at the top of her voice and cry out loud. ‘How could this be happening?’ she thought.
She had given him everything he wanted, everything she had. Her love, her time, her 4 years. She had nothing else to offer that would want him to stay with her and hold her in his arms for ever. There was nothing she could do to make him stay.
She had given him everything he wanted, everything she had. Her love, her time, her 4 years. She had nothing else to offer that would want him to stay with her and hold her in his arms for ever. There was nothing she could do to make him stay.
She looked at her watch; it was 5 in the evening. He would leave in an hour to catch his flight. They had met after a year. The job he’d taken up a year ago allowed him to travel a lot and he was never at one place for more than a month. Over the year, things had changed more than she had expected. In some very strange way, she had gotten used to the idea of him always being away from her. This had made her stronger and independent and having him near her didn’t make much of a difference anymore.
A year back, on this very day, he had announced to her that they did not have any future together. He said that they would not be happy with each other and thing would just get miserable over the years. But she had been persistent. She believed that love would conquer all and would win over all the little fights and arguments they keep having. Now, she wasn’t so sure.
She wanted to break the awkward silence between them as he seemed lost in thoughts. She asked, “Do you have the tickets with you?”
He checked his pocket and replied, “Yeah, its right here with me”
She asked, “How long before you come back?”
“I’m not sure. Could be six months, a year or maybe even two” he replied.
She looked disappointed. The thought of not seeing him again for a year or two was killing her from the inside. But she held her calm and replied with a smile, “That’s good. Your career’s finally setting off. I’m happy for you”
He smiled back and said, “Thanks”
This shattered her even more and she thought ‘Thanks? How could things get so worse that they had to be formal in front of each other?’
She knew the clock was ticking and they had only a little time left with each other.
Somehow she thought that she was the only one continuing the relationship and was the only one who was affected by the separation. Maybe she was right. Maybe he didn’t care much. Maybe it doesn’t matter to him. Maybe, it never did.
She looked at her watch again, it was half past five. Her heart began to sink. With a heavy heart she said, “I think its time for you to go now. Otherwise you will miss your flight”
He too looked at the watch and realized that maybe this was the last time they would be seeing each other. Last time they would be talking as a couple. Because God knows that he had made up his mind about breaking the news of the breakup to her as soon as he landed. But he decided against it. And now was the time to do it he thought.
He said, “Baby, you know why I’m doing this. No one will benefit from this relationship. We won’t last with each other. The relationship will erode with time. I have no choice. You know it very well that we can’t think of a future together. But I promise you this, I will always love you coz I’ve never loved anyone else. I love you now and I will love you forever”
She thought, ‘but you don’t love me enough to spend the rest of your life with me’
He continued, “I don’t know what else to say to you, but I can tell you this, until either of us finds someone suitable enough to get married to, we can continue the relationship we have. But one of us will have to back off when the other person is ready to settle down”
Suddenly she realized something. She understood that he wants the relationship just for the sake of it. He was as much addicted to her as she was to him. And he couldn't let go of a habit so abruptly. He would happily get married to some other random girl and it wouldn't affect him, but she would be the one who will end up being shattered. She knew it was time to make a decision.
She smiled at him and said, “You are right. We should continue the relationship for YOUR benefit, because YOU say so and because YOU don’t or never thought about me. If you would've thought about my well being then you would have just broken up with me. Instead, you are looking for a temporary solution to your problems until something permanent comes your way.”
He was looking at her with a shocked expression on his face, unaware of what was happening. He thought the solution would be mutually beneficial, but things were taking an unexpected turn here.
She continued, “I don’t regret the four years I spent with you, they were undeniably the best four years of my life. I have tried really hard to sustain this relationship. But there is only so much I can do. I have loved you with all my heart and now I am leaving you. I gave you all I had and I would give you more if I could. I actually DID love you. But its time I let you go from my life.”
With these final words, she stood up and walked out of the door, never looking back to what she had left behind....
THE END
