The way I love you...

I have been asking myself this question a lot,

I have been wondering about this for quite a while,

But there seems to be no reasoning answer to

Find a reason why I love you the way I do.

Is it the sparkle in your eyes or the calm in your voice?

The softness of your touch that makes me want you so much,

The way you smile or your kiss on my lips,

Is it the power of your stare or the strength that you wear?

Is it the smell of your perfume or the warmth of your skin?

Your breath on my neck or our feet curled up within,

The connection of our thoughts or our spiritual intellect,

Is it the way you understand me or read what’s on my mind?

Is it the way you are always there for me,

Or the way you always care?

Is it the way you always stand by me,

No matter what I say?

Is it the way you motivate me,

And give me a new direction to see?

Is it the way you believe in me,

And guide me wherever I may be?

Is it the way you love me so much,

Or is it because you are all mine?

Is it the way you make my life a dream,

That seems beautiful and divine?

I may find a million reasons why I love you,

But the list won’t seem to end,

I love the thought of loving you,

And the reason I love you is YOU!

Since the day...

Walking along the excruciating paths of loneliness,

Swept away by the aggressive waves of suffering,

Life just does not seem worth living,

Since the day you left me all alone.

Waiting for a light to be showered upon me,

Looking for a sign to realize the purpose of life,

I stand there still, deprived of all feelings,

Since the time you said goodbye.

Trying to figure out the game destiny plays,

Figuring out the witticism of fate,

I lay there numb, wanting to wake again,

Since the time you parted our ways.

Fighting to break the shell all over me,

Craving to breathe, with arms wide open,

Nothing prevents me from drowning in the water of hatred,

Since you said I wasn’t what you wanted.

Fighting with my own unseen shadow,

Struggling with my unexpressed thoughts,

I have been reaching out to someone to guide me through,

Since the day you broke my heart.

Wondering if I will ever feel your touch again,

Asking myself, if I’ll ever breathe your love once more,

I am uncertain if I’ll ever be alive again,

Since the day you shattered me into pieces.

Wishing if time could turn back for just once,

Hoping to take back both our wrong doings,

I have been entreating to get one more chance,

Since the day you said we weren’t meant to be.

Something seemed to have died within me,

It feels like something is missing inside,

But I know that my love has only grown for you,

Since the day I realized you were no more by my side.

Have You Ever Been Loved by Someone?

Have you ever been loved by someone?

Someone who adores you from the bottom of his heart?

Have you ever cared for someone?

Someone who you think will always be your part?

Have you ever known what it feels like,

To have someone close to you day and night?

Have you ever had the feeling that he,

Is the one when you see his first sight?

Have you ever got so close to him

That all the other things seemed too far?

Have you ever been gently kissed on your lips,

That your life seems to be one among the stars.

Have you ever looked into his eyes,

To search for the place you occupy in him?

Has he ever caressed you with love,

That you feel that nothing is like what it seems?

Have you ever held him tightly in your arms,

And told him how much he means to you?

Has he ever looked back into your eyes,

And told you that he loves you too?

Have you ever known what it feels like to be in love?

Have you ever known what it feels like to be the most important person in someone's life?

Have you ever known what it feels like to love someone from the bottom of your heart?

Have you ever been truly and deeply in love?

The end where I begin...

“This wasn’t supposed to happen”, he said.

She held his hand tightly and replied with a smile, “but it did. That’s all that matters”

He looked up and could see that her eyes were red and puffy with crying all night. He wanted to make her happy. He wanted to save her. He wanted to save them. But there was nothing that he could do. He had made up his mind.

She asked him once again, “Are you sure about this?”

He replied without giving it any thought, “Yes. We can’t be together. Not now, not ever”

She wanted to scream at the top of her voice and cry out loud. ‘How could this be happening?’ she thought.

She had given him everything he wanted, everything she had. Her love, her time, her 4 years. She had nothing else to offer that would want him to stay with her and hold her in his arms for ever. There was nothing she could do to make him stay.

She looked at her watch; it was 5 in the evening. He would leave in an hour to catch his flight. They had met after a year. The job he’d taken up a year ago allowed him to travel a lot and he was never at one place for more than a month. Over the year, things had changed more than she had expected. In some very strange way, she had gotten used to the idea of him always being away from her. This had made her stronger and independent and having him near her didn’t make much of a difference anymore.

A year back, on this very day, he had announced to her that they did not have any future together. He said that they would not be happy with each other and thing would just get miserable over the years. But she had been persistent. She believed that love would conquer all and would win over all the little fights and arguments they keep having. Now, she wasn’t so sure.

She wanted to break the awkward silence between them as he seemed lost in thoughts. She asked, “Do you have the tickets with you?”

He checked his pocket and replied, “Yeah, its right here with me”

She asked, “How long before you come back?”

“I’m not sure. Could be six months, a year or maybe even two” he replied.

She looked disappointed. The thought of not seeing him again for a year or two was killing her from the inside. But she held her calm and replied with a smile, “That’s good. Your career’s finally setting off. I’m happy for you”

He smiled back and said, “Thanks”

This shattered her even more and she thought ‘Thanks? How could things get so worse that they had to be formal in front of each other?’

She knew the clock was ticking and they had only a little time left with each other.

Somehow she thought that she was the only one continuing the relationship and was the only one who was affected by the separation. Maybe she was right. Maybe he didn’t care much. Maybe it doesn’t matter to him. Maybe, it never did.

She looked at her watch again, it was half past five. Her heart began to sink. With a heavy heart she said, “I think its time for you to go now. Otherwise you will miss your flight”

He too looked at the watch and realized that maybe this was the last time they would be seeing each other. Last time they would be talking as a couple. Because God knows that he had made up his mind about breaking the news of the breakup to her as soon as he landed. But he decided against it. And now was the time to do it he thought.

He said, “Baby, you know why I’m doing this. No one will benefit from this relationship. We won’t last with each other. The relationship will erode with time. I have no choice. You know it very well that we can’t think of a future together. But I promise you this, I will always love you coz I’ve never loved anyone else. I love you now and I will love you forever”

She thought, ‘but you don’t love me enough to spend the rest of your life with me’

He continued, “I don’t know what else to say to you, but I can tell you this, until either of us finds someone suitable enough to get married to, we can continue the relationship we have. But one of us will have to back off when the other person is ready to settle down”

Suddenly she realized something. She understood that he wants the relationship just for the sake of it. He was as much addicted to her as she was to him. And he couldn't let go of a habit so abruptly. He would happily get married to some other random girl and it wouldn't affect him, but she would be the one who will end up being shattered. She knew it was time to make a decision.

She smiled at him and said, “You are right. We should continue the relationship for YOUR benefit, because YOU say so and because YOU don’t or never thought about me. If you would've thought about my well being  then you would have just broken up with me. Instead, you are looking for a temporary solution to your problems until something permanent comes your way.”

He was looking at her with a shocked expression on his face, unaware of what was happening. He thought the solution would be mutually beneficial, but things were taking an unexpected turn here.

She continued, “I don’t regret the four years I spent with you, they were undeniably the best four years of my life. I have tried really hard to sustain this relationship. But there is only so much I can do. I have loved you with all my heart and now I am leaving you. I gave you all I had and I would give you more if I could. I actually DID love you. But its time I let you go from my life.”

With these final words, she stood up and walked out of the door, never looking back to what she had left behind....

THE END

Life's Moving fast, you better catch up!!!

Hie everyone...

Lets talk about our Dreams and Aspirations! What is it that we want out of our life? What do we all want to do before it gets too late? What exactly do you mean by Dreams, Aspirations, Passion etc.??

Honestly, the definition varies from person to person. One might want to be very famous and be filthy rich. That can be his dream. On the other hand, a person might want to travel the world, so that is his dream. As i said, it varies from person to person.

But what people generally fail to understand, is that your dreams and passions are different from your goals. Take me for example, I want to start an NGO and help people across the world. But that's my ultimate goal. My passion, on the other hand is an endless list of things i want to do before its too late. So you see, your goals and passions are two different things.

I just finished with the movie Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara and 1 thing struck me astonishingly. We all plan our life, we all have a map made of where we want to be when we are 40 and how to reach there... but what if u don't get to live until 40? Shouldn't your life mean something till then? Shouldn't it mean something EVERYDAY?

If you have seen the movie Dead Poet's Society, you must be well versed with the phrase CARPE DIEM. In Simple English, it means to ENJOY THE PRESENT, to SEIZE THE DAY, to simple live each day to the fullest.

Now the question is... how does one CARPE DIEM???

Here is a list of few things i relate to or i want to do...

Figure out your passion: What is it that you wanted to do? Write books, poems, Paint, Play Guitar, Cook, whatever it is, explore it and start working on it. Find out what makes you happy and just go with it. You will never regret.

Let go of your fear: Make a list of the phobias you have and encounter them one by one. As you start crossing off the fears from the list after you have overcome them, you will develop a sense of pride you never thought you had.

Travel frequently: It's always great to take a break from your daily routine and go to a place you always wanted to. Not only will you return peaceful, but you will also feel happy and content.

Stay with the right kind of people: You might have a huge friends circle, but there will be only a few of them that you actually call friends. Stay with the people who make you happy, who make you laugh and make you feel alive. Remember that those who make you happy add life to your days and those who don't, take away the life from your days.

Choose your friends wisely: Be attached to people, not possessions. If you think you can't open up to people and that you can't trust them, you are wrong. I agree that everyone is not trustworthy, only a few ones are. Well, find them out and share a part of your life with them. Expensive cars and apartments wont lend you a helping hand when you need one, your friends will.

Its OK to piss people off: You can't please everyone. If you think you can, you can't be more wrong. Realize that only a few people matter, not all. So care for them and just let go of the rest of world.

Don't take life too seriously: Its not that it's sunny everyday. Life has it's dark days too. But when you humor your problems, not only do you get out with a solution, but also with a determination that you will stand strong, come rain or thunder.

Develop an ability to forgive: What happened to you or what someone did to you, might affect and hurt you now, but it won't matter 5 years down the line. So learn to forgive. No body lives in peace holding grudges. Once you forgive, you will see the change in you.

Do random things: Smile, freak out, read books, help others, always think positive, drink lots of water, meditate, visualize yourself 10 years down the line, relax, take out a specific time for worrying, take control of your emotions, walk barefoot, stare at the sky endlessly, camp out, do things you never did or were too afraid to do, take chances, be mysterious, keep a journal, follow your intuition and love everything that you have or get.

Be Honest: Don't lie. There is no exception to this rule. Be honest with yourself and the ones around you. And don't speak until you learn to improve on silence.

Fall in love: Last but not the least, fall in love. Not necessarily a person, it can be anything like nature, poems, art etc. etc. But do fall in love. It always brings out the best in you. If you have been hurt by someone you loved, don't worry, it means life has given you a second chance. Make sure you don't miss out on it.

Well, this list is everything I could think of. If i missed anything or any point, fell free to add it via your comments. I hope everyone of us learns to live in ways that we want to rather than the ways we are asked to. Most importantly, differentiate between your passions and goals. Otherwise it will be too late to mend things.

With this famous quote by Mark Twain, I end my blog:

"Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

Waiting for your comments eagerly. Go on....CARPE DIEM :D

Divyangana Singh

:D 

Lost Poetry...

Hie everyone...

Its been really long since i last wrote a blog.

To be honest, i couldn't think of anything interesting enough to put on the wall. But then i stumbled across my high school English Prose and Poetry book and it got me thinking.

There was a time when i was bonkers about poems and i used to read them through and through almost everyday. I loved they way the words rhymed and the way a sonnet would be sufficient in itself.

I still remember coming across one special poem when i was in 7th std. It was a poem by Robert Frost named, 'Stopping By The Woods On A Snowy Evening'. I still don't know what was about that poem that caught my attention, but reading it gave me a sense of peace and calm. It sent me to a different world and it was like i could feel every detail mentioned in the poem.

That is when i started loving poems and i knew that i wanted to write too...someday.

We have all been aware of poets like John Keats, Shakespeare, William Wordsworth, Robert Frost, E. E Cummings, William Blake, O Henry etc etc.
The list is never ending.

But recently, i came across a very interesting piece of poetry. I was watching the movie, 'A Haunting in Connecticut', where there is a mention of a very strange poem with a gothic representation. It immediately had my attention and i googled it...

This is the poem Google found for me:

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

One was blind and the other couldn't, see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.

A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A paralyzed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye.

Knocked him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all.

A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to arrest the two dead boys.

If you don't believe this story’s true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!


This rather sounds very funny, but is beautifully expressed in the movie i mentioned. And it really gives you chills.

There is no known author of this poem and it dates back to somewhere around 14th century.
There have been many versions to this poem, the most famous of which i posted here. The excellent blend of oxymoron gives it a very unique and interesting edge.

From the time i read through the poem, i really liked it.
And i hope you do too. If you find any other such poems, do let me know.

Will be waiting for your response and comments.
Ciao
Divyangana Singh
:D

My Life....My Love....How it all changed!!

They say that Love is the best of all the feelings in the world. And sure it's true. I found love when i least expected to and I must say, it surely has changed me for the better.

It is so strange that we wait for someone special all our life, but we fail to understand that the person with us right now, might be that someone, might be 'the one'. You do not miss something until it has gone out of your life. The same happened with me. This relationship has taught me a lot of things. Some of which I will be sharing with you.

We were a happy couple. There were a lot of differences, like in any other relationships, but our best asset was our compatibility. We were very comfortable and compatible with each other. But the interesting part is that we have spent more time being off the relationship, than being in the relationship. But that has nothing but increased our bond with each other. Our love story is no different from any other. Same twists, same turns, same ups and downs, he coming from a different caste, me from a different, family obligations, this...that.....and the typical opposites attract stuff. But most importantly, we shared a relationship that was unique.

When we were actually IN the relationship, we used to fight like cats and dogs, and when we were out of the relationship, we were more like a couple who’s just fallen in love. We have been through a lot in our relationship, there was a time when he was very serious, and I was not. Then came the phase when we both were not serious, which transformed into a time when we both became serious. And now, it has come up to the point, when I have become serious, and he says that he’s stopped loving me.

We have seen so much together. We have shared so much in each others company, from sharing our happiness, sorrows, love, anger, depression, easy times, tough times to sharing our lives together, we have seen it all. So how can one forget it all and go on living like the past 3 years never happened?

I sometimes sit and wonder, how can love stop, how can it cease? If such is the case, then there must not be any love from the very beginning itself. I still dont have the answers to these questions....and a lot more!!!

I have a lot of complains from HIM, and i also think that somehow the past 3 years could just erase out of my memory. But i have to live with reality and accept whatever comes in my way.

Out of the many thing that i learned from HIM and my relationship with HIM, there are a few insights:

• Never Expect: I never expected to fall in love, but I did. When you do not expect anything, life is full of surprises. And you will find yourself being disappointed quite less.

• Happiness: It is a very integral part of one’s life. All my life, i worked hard on how to make others happy, forgetting how to be happy myself. He made me happy and taught me how to live with absolute bliss.

• Positivity: I was a very pessimistic person. Never happy with what I have, and always complaining. He showed me how to be happy and satisfied with what I have and how to look at the brighter side of everything. Even today, if i am faced with a sad or difficult situation, i try to look at how it could be good for me.

• Be Fun and energetic: Life is too short if u want to live it with content. So it is better to enjoy every second of your life. This is what he used to do, and all i did was learn it from him.

• Keep Smiling: Smile never hurts, and it is one thing that is always returned with most affection. He kept smiling all day long, which persuaded me to keep smiling throughout the day. And i found out that i started to live more enthusiastically, looking forward to each day.

• Be Strong: The hardships in our relationships made me stronger and more practical. Display of emotions can be a dangerous thing, especially when one knows your weakness. I learned to be strong and faced the world with more confidence than ever before.

• Be Bold: Crying over a situation can never help. It is your life and you are the one who governs it. I learned to get hold of my life and to show everyone, what i really stand for.

• Wait: Patience was another thing that he taught me. I also strongly started believing the fact that everything happens for the best. If everything is messed up and wrong now, you can be sure God has some better plans for you. All you have to do is WAIT.

These are just some of the things that i learned from Him and my relationship. I realized he was my ‘The One’ only when he was separated from me. I cannot say i am happy now with what has become, but there surely will come a day when i will look back at all these times and laugh out loud. And i hope that day comes pretty soon.

But if you have that ONE person in your life that you love the most, do not hesitate to say that you love that person. Don’t ever let a time come when you desperately want to share your love with someone, but that person is not there with you. So take some time out of your busy schedule and tell someone that you love them. Just those 3 words can sometimes be enough to tell how you feel, can be enough to end a fight, can be enough to show care and can be enough when words fail.

But most importantly, love someone today...and you will feel a sense of happiness and belonging that you have never felt before. And if you too have faced a situation similar to mine, and have been hurt, try forgiving the person who has hurt you..... that's what i did.... and i can surely say.... i m happier now compared to when i was angry.

With these final words, i end my blog, " Love means never having to say you are sorry" - Eric Segal, Love Story.