They say that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I say bullshit. This phrase must have been said by some asshole who had never fallen in love. Because if you have loved and lost, and if you are still standing strong, you are pulling every muscle, each atom in your body to do that. And the pain is excruciating. And as for never to have loved, you never miss something you've never had... so stop cribbing, because you dont know what it feels to be at the end of a road where someone left you standing with a promise of coming back but never returned.
And what's with moving on? You got your heart broken, didn't drop ice cream on the floor that you can go get a new one and JUST move on. So to hell will people who keep telling you that you should move on and find someone new. Because it's practically impossible to be with someone else after you've had your heart broken into a million tiny pieces. And yes, people who tell you that moving on is not that big of a deal, haven't really ever fallen in love. They are familiar with the idea of love. Because if they knew what true love is, they'd know how scary it is to go back into the world of piranhas with your vulnerable self. How scary it is to open up to someone new and to work on a relationship from scratch. What if this too doesn't work out? What if you get your heart broken again? Yes, I know that there are chances that you might not get your heart broken or might meet your soul-mate but seriously, what are the odds of that happening And no matter how strong you are, you may never love another with the same unbroken heart and the same intensity as you did the first time. A heart break changes you. You are never the same person and the love is never the same.
I respect people who have carried on with their lives after being shattered completely. I have done it too. And I know what it takes to cry yourself to sleep every night, face down on the pillow so that no one hears you crying and what it takes to wake up every morning pretending that everything is fine and you didn't cry last night. They say that the people who smile the most are the saddest people on earth. They dont pretend or smile to forget their pain, they do it because they cannot see anyone else being burdened with the same pain as their. They dont wish it on anyone else because they know what it feels to get your heart ripped out directly from your chest while it is still beating as you stare down at it as it dies slowly.
When you love someone and when you have been together for long, it's quite difficult to imagine a life without them. What happens when one day the person comes and tells you that they are not in love with you anymore. All the years you spent together was just a phase and they want to break off everything. And what happens when you hear from someone that they are with someone else. It makes you question everything you did, everything that was and everything you were to them. You can't help but blame yourself because when you see them with someone else, the first thing that comes to mind is that they didn't love YOU. And no matter how much they meant to you and no matter what you did, it wasn't enough.
Been there...done that. And it's all nothing but a huge pile of crap. Why the freak should you feel bad about yourself because some asshole didn't have it in him to commit to a serious relationship? Why the hell should you blame yourself when the asshole wasn't man enough to take decisions and just dumped you when it was time to get serious? And do you seriously think that the asshole is going to stay happy in his life with whosoever pitiful girl falls for his trap? Nay... I dont think so.
The universe works in mysterious ways. Ways you may never understand. But one thing for sure is that what goes around, is sure to come around. The person who hurt you will pay ten times his share, because that's how things work. It will be your stupidity to never trust anyone again because you had the misfortune of stumbling into one jerk. This does not prove that you may never find a decent guy. Perfect love stories do exist. It just happens in the right time and with the right person.
But that doesn't mean that you need to wait for a big gesture to fall in love. Big gestures DOES NOT guarantee happy endings. And let's face it, movies and TV shows have completely screwed the concept of love. Girl's have high expectation of being swooped off their feet while guys just want to get laid. There ARE no fairy tale stories where you meet accidentally, lock eyes for 2 seconds before the girl is about to trip and the boy catches her and they stare at each other for a decade. BULLSHIT. In real life, the girl falls down and an old lady comes to her aid. So give up on the concept of a perfect love story. Coz there isn't one. Moreover, if you want to live someone else's love story, you are undoubtedly the stupidest person alive on earth.
Anyways, moving forward, the question arises as to when should one move on. Honestly, there is no fixed time to move one. I cant label people, giving them a voucher for moving on with a validity of 15 days or a month. For some it's a couple of weeks, for some it's a couple of months, while unfortunately for me, it's a couple of years at least. It takes time and all your strength to believe in yourself and start all over again because of the dependency developed over the period of togetherness. And it will take more strength than that to give someone new a chance with love. This is where your past experience comes in handy. This is where you can take decisions without being impulsive. So take your time, there's no hurry.
A bad breakup leads you into the journey of self discovery. You do things you wouldn't normally do. In fact, you do everything to keep your mind from thinking about them. And in the process, you transform into a new self... which isn't all that bad to be honest. So sit straight, chin up, look down upon the world and be yourself with and attitude that you can conquer the world. Which you can if you dont fall for this love shit. As for me, I know I will be just fine and the asshole will burn in the seven circles of hell over and over again. Will be fun to watch though ;)
So if I have to choose between lost love and never to have loved, I will, without any doubt, time and again choose Never to have loved. But I know, I too will have a happy ending some day :)
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